as defined by my Mac:

irony |??r?n?; ?i?rn?| noun
• the expression of one’s meaning by using language that normally signifies the opposite, typically for humorous or emphatic effect.
• a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result.

If you work in or have ever travelled to the Texas Medical Center you will understand.

I love Pasadena. This really does happen here.

This picture was taken in the parking lot of Kroger on Spencer Highway in Pasadena,TX. On a side note, Terri and I live less than two miles from where Gilley’s once stood. Pasadena ISD has taken over the property and I hear rumors they are building a school on the site.

Gas prices are getting ridiculous. We know this, it’s nothing new. I know it was my so called “choice” to buy a big ol’ gas-guzzling truck. I don’t regret it… …This is Texas for crying out loud! But high gas prices have afforded me some priceless quality time with my wife in the HOV lane.

I purchased an iPod stereo dock after christmas (thanks B!!) that I stuck in the bathroom. I crank it up every morning while I am in the shower. Godsmack, Stonesour, Beasties. Whatever I’m in the mood for. By the time I get to the truck I’m wide awake and ready to rock. I’m a retard, I know.

You may be asking yourself “Jason, where are you going with this?”

Sit back and I’ll tell you…

This morning when I got in the truck, Metallica’s “Master of Puppets” was playing on XM. Excellent road trip song to work I thought. Not so according to Terri:

“Do we really have to listen to Metallica this early in the morning? This song just goes on and on and on. It’s giving me a headache”

“Baby… ….It’s Metallica, it’s designed to do that.”

“It’s not even 7.”

So, having been defeated on the Metallica argument, I reluctantly changed to another station.

“This is much better, thank you.”

“…*long pause*… You can’t do Metallica in the morning? I get that. But Rob Zombie’s “More Human than Human” is ok?”

I have to give it to Terri, she knows what she likes.

So later on I was returning from lunch with the guys. We noticed some idiots rocking out in a car next to us and it reminded Warren of Wayne’s World. He then asked me if I had “Bohemian Rhapsody” on my iPod. Who doesn’t have that on their iPod. It’s a classic. Needless to say I had it, off of the Wayne’s Word soundtrack in fact. Anyway, we listened to it a few times on our way back to the office. When I got into my truck after work it was still going. I decided I was going to let it play until Terri screamed to pay her back for the Metallica incident. After about 20 minutes of the song playing in the background this occured:

“How many times are you going to listen to this stupid song?”

“Until your head explodes! ….Beelzebub has a devil put aside for me,for me,for meeee!!!”

“Well, at least it’s not that Metallica Muppets song!”

“*sigh*”

Folks, this may be the first time Metallica and the Muppets where used in the same sentence.

If you know me, you’ll know that I am a creature of habit. I do the same thing everyday after work. I go run. I drive home, and then I unpack my crap and put it in its proper place. Next I will re-pack my bag for the next day and then I will hit the shower. This is also true for the morning. I will get up and eat a bowl of cereal. Next I will check my e-mail and digg to see if there is anything interesting going on. After that I will hit the shower and get dressed and head out to work. I am so predictable that my dogs know when to head outside! See a pattern?

Having said that, when I arrive at work, I try to park Thor in the same spot every day. The parking spot that I chose is the best one in the whole lot, in my opinion. It’s out of the sun for most of the day. One side is striped off so people can’t park next to me. And it is next to cover in case it is raining. The only negative thing is that it is just about as far as you can be from the entrance to my building as you can get and still be in the lot. I guess it is a positive also because people rarely park in it.

Lately, Mr. Mark seems to think that it might be funny to park in “my spot”. The first day he parked in it I didn’t realize it was him until later. He overheard me talking to someone else about the jack@ss that was in “my spot” and admitted that it was him. He also explained that he did it just to drive me nuts. Which it did but I couldn’t let him know that. Following our conversation, Mark parked in “my spot” every chance he got. If I was late, he was there. If he was early, he was there. Frustrating… One morning I came in and some one had put TMC (Texas Medical Center) traffic cones in front of “my spot”. I just knew it had been him but he denied it……I am still not sure. We have been going back and forth over this for a few weeks.

So on Friday, when I pulled into the parking lot I noticed Mr. Mark in front of me and figured it was payback time. It just so happened that this time he parked in the space next to “my spot”. So when I pulled Thor in to “my spot”, I got as close as I could to his vehicle without actually hitting him. There is no possible way he was ever getting back in his vehicle. You see Mark is a big guy. Not fat, more like a linebacker from Nebraska. Big. It would not be possible for him to enter his vehicle through the passenger side.

Victory was sweet, but it didn’t last.

Later that morning, during our engineering meeting, I received a voicemail from TMC security. They let me know I was double parked and asked if I would please move my vehicle. I immediately and playfully accused Mark of being a little girl for calling the cops. He said he didn’t but wished he had because he thought that would have been hilarious. I kind of blew it off because to me it wasn’t a big deal. I was only double parked in Mark’s space and I knew he wouldn’t complain. Later that afternoon, a freaking TMC security guard came looking for me. It just so happened I was playing Rock Band with some guys from work and we had to end the set so I could take care of my problem. The security guard explained that a couple of VIP’s with TMC told him to find me or they would tow Thor. So I reluctantly went down and moved Thor before Mark had to leave to go home. I felt robbed but I also didn’t want to get towed. Mark wins again……

I took Thor to the doctor and got his breathing problem fixed. He can now exhale properly. Thanks to Lindytree.com for snagging those pics for me.

Out with the old

In with the new

Finished! Jeez, I really need to wash my truck…

I fixed Thor’s deviated septum today by adding a K&N cold air injector……..oooooh feel the power.